Ready or Not

It's been half a decade
since we... yet I feel that I am
not yet ready... ready for
another... I always convince
myself that I'm just busy...
busy at the moment... When
will I be ready? Will I ever be
ready again? Is there a
formula to this problem?
Maybe I need someone else...
someone to forget you...
May be I need more time...
Maybe I should take a risk
and leap... leap even if the
wounds are not yet healed...
Maybe, the wounds are
already healed... I'm just
afraid to acquire another
wound... Afraid that the
next wound could be fatal...
The wounds are healed yet
the pain still lingers... Pain
being savored slowly
through loneliness... Busying
myself to take my mind out
of the pain... through
sports, work, thinking,
reading, writing... Learning
to hide the loneliness under
insincere smiles... Learning
to cope with loneliness by
messing with my mind...
Creating imaginary friends...
Multiple personalities...
Imagining role playing...
Role playing of suicide... My
suicide... All this thoughts,
are hidden... Whenever I
met a new... I immediately
compare her to you... Still
imprisoned in your charms...
Etched in my mind... The
secrets that we keep... The
happy memories we
shared... And the tears that
fell... when you passed away.